Category Archives: Happiness

2017: The Sweet and Sour Experience

​So, it’s that time of the year again… Heelloo!!! I’m here again with my end of the year post… smiles. Hope y’all have been good?… now, lets talk about my 2017.

After moving from last year, thinking it was the most stressful… 2017 be looking at me like…

you can read my 2016 encounter here https://kemisolaagoyi1.wordpress.com/2016/12/31/2016-has-come-and-gone-cheers-to-the-new-year/

The year started with me setting up an NGO – “The Sanitary Aid Initiative – TSAI”, as a cofounder with Aunt Lola (a wonderful sister with me) and also starting up “Your Cooperate HouseKeepers ” (although Med School didn’t let the business thrive). In school, we resumed psychiatry posting; that was another whole new experience going to Federal Neuropsychiatry Hospital Yaba everyday for one month and going to pakoto opened my eyes in a new light.

Then “turn up” started all the way from January, cause my baby girl got engaged in January (so I had the opportunity to plan a surprise engagement party for the then soon-to-be-bride, who is now a MRS). January was fast, even my travel started in the first month… it was Warri all the way!

February came and 4th was a day! Me and my clan had a video shoot with Child Health Advocacy Initiave (CHAI) to stand against FGM (the feminist and activist movement must continue… LOL). The shot was lit (with Bisi, Bisola, Brammy, Borowa and Akeju! It was at a studio in Omole. Also there was the transitioning to Anaesthesia.

March was march. We rounded off 500L finally and resumed final year in medical school finally (its been a long time coming) and by then, we had our name… Syncytium ’17 (although I wanted Titans) but Syncytians are the best!

Even though I proposed to drop off a lot in 2017 and have more time for myself, I did pick up some few things like serving my home association – AMSUL – as a senator.

Then April came and it was lit! In school, senior Surgery posting swung-in in full force. I also planned a bridal shower with Lala and the sisters for our boo and was the chief brides maid for my bestie all the way in Warri. Also, it was our final year awareness… shuttling that day with BPSU in surgery was crazy. Lol, sweet memories.

May started with me going for the movie premier of slow country with Mrs Nana and Iyama. Then there was Apere concert with Gboneme and Somto courtesy – the Mrs! Surgery ended and June was here… I made my way to Abuja for the IFMSA SRT with awesome people… it was awesome! I thought, learnt, met and was inspired!

In all of this, Stephanie Ugbor (@StephieKal) had come into my life, The Press club was there – My president almost making my life “a living hell”… LOL, and FAMSA work was there too… striving hard to publish AFROMEDICA. Also the wonderful girls in my life at the moment – my mentees (Bisola, Sekinat; these two were with me in stormy days, Salamah, Iruoma, Yemisi, Ameenah and Simbiat; came into my life at the right time… and I love them all, more joining soon). This year was a year of mentorship.

July was in Medicine posting; it was long, tedious and really enlightening, but my end of posting said, “you ain’t seen nothing”! My consultant for exam was bloody… and surgery result too wasn’t smiling but God pass them all! In this month, I knew God was great and what “social wealth” was; that is, not having a dime but still being able to tour the world. By the way, TSAI (@thesanitaryaid) was soaring high and touching lives.

AUGUST! My birth month!!! It was lit! I was on my way back to Nigeria through Tanzania enroute Ethiopia from IFMSA August meeting for my birthday (I can not forget my mentees and friends countdown; it was the best I ever had #InTears). In TZ, I met a lot of new cool people, saw a lot of tribes, culture, ate a lot of new foods and had a lot of new experience. I went for the Value Female Network (VFN) Adolescent boot camp too in Osogbo with UNFPA and Co.


Then September was the month of conferences, from HACEY’s MY SALVUS launch, to FAMSA G.A. in Bayelsa, Nigeria Delta University (Where I handed over my position as the Chairperson, SCOPUB–FAMSA 2016/2017) to Abuja again for the MWAN National biennial conference… the road trips and hook ups were amazing! The accommodations on point and the foods… bliss!

October was AMSULs health week (last health week as a Medical student *winks*) and our SYNCposium, where our speakers came to let us know that, “all books and no sense makes almighty MBBS just a certificate”. The international day of the girl child came and I was proud of my girls lead by Simbiat Lawal.

Anniversaries and Conferences continued in November; MWAN Lagos 40TH Anniversary and Biennial conference (which I was on the LOC for) where I met the crème de la crème and porshe de la porshe of the medical profession in Lagos. Then there was TFL (Teenage Festival for Life) by AHI; AHI is that anchor family to me.

December was turn up – back to back; from EKIMSA, to ARD, Joys Dad Burial (a mini friend reunion), to Blood line, to MFMYCWC get-together, to every other turn ups and birthdays too (there was a lot; from Winifreds to Gbonemes and every other person).

This is a brief summary of my 2017… might seem so rosy and sweet with loads of fun but 2017 was in fact; my sweetest and most sour year so far – I saw a lot, I went through hell!!! God, friends and family were my hold. This year was a year lots of outreaches and organizations works … for HACEY Health Initiative, SCOEPA, TSAI, AMSUL, VFN, 5/10 Help Foundation, The Press Club (the family that holds, thanks to AdeFemi Adeniji, my personal person this year), Safer Hands Initiative and many more and was a year of phoot shoots too…

Finally; my lessons for this year 2017

  1. Love God and be Kanye about it. God knows best.
  2. Do your bit and leave the rest to God. God answers prayers
  3. Help comes from unexpected places. You are malleable.
  4. Learn to relinquish power and it will then come back to you; you can still be relevant and be without a position.
  5. Learn to wear your scars like accessories and shine with it glamorously regardless.
  6. Keep working hard in diligence and intelligence; you don’t know who is watching, you don’t know how the reward is going to come in… that’s how you gather social wealth, which never goes bankrupt.
  7. Whatever you know or have learnt… pass it on. Mentoring is key.
  8. Whatever your hands find to do… do it well, do it diligently.
  9. Real friends and colleagues make life sweet and easier to live in… Remember, the more the merrier.
  10. Be happy for people and Support others to grow and you will always find support.

2018 is going to be great! This I know for sure… Appreciation to everyone who made my 2017 lit – Stephanie Ugbor and the MFMYC Writers Club Family, Oluwakorede, Gboneme, Aunty Lala, Aunty Lola, LA, Seriki, my roomies, my neighbours, Lizzy and Toyosi (Thank you all for believing in me), MWAN, The Press Club (Thank you for service and lessons), NiMSA female forum (I won most active person of the year 2017!), my mentors and mentees, my Oga – Roland, Jesutofunmi, Abiola Gbenga, Olujide, my classmates – SYNC ‘17 (awesomest real MVPs), my co-workers in all ways (NGOs, YCH, Ushers), The Nanas!, my family (the list goes on… please if you don’t see your name… I’m deeply sorry, time and space won’t let me… but you all ROCK! Thank you #Kisses)

I am deeply sorry for my lapses, short comings and wrong doings this year – 2018 is gonna be better!

 Join me in thanking God as we celebrate into the new year…


Yours sincerely, with much love

Oluwakemisola A. 31.12.2017

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WHEN I STARTED TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY “EVERY” ACTIONS…

​I will never forget and forever remain grateful for that fateful day in the year 2015, when I walked into Tunde’s clinic for the first time. And after several sessions with him, I realised that I had lived my whole life making certain mistakes.

I had made it part of me – my entire life – to blame situations or people for certain actions and thoughts of mine. Although it was a bit challenging but after several sessions; I came to a realisation, made decisions and ultimately took actions. I realised that, I could either continue to “brood about how unhappy my childhood was”, “about peoples actions towards me” or “certain unpleasant situations in my life” and allow all of that result in negative feelings of sadness, bitterness and anger which ultimately results into “certain wrong or irrational actions I took” or “I could start taking charge of my own actions and thoughts, controlling them, becoming the architect of my own life”. Hence, taking full responsibility for my actions. 

Over time, I’ve watched a lot of people make similar mistakes and it has become a thing of great concern to me; as I’ve watched people not live their lifes to the maximum potential due to these mistakes. 

Below are 5 of the common mistakes I’ve seen and heard people make:

1. The reason for my behaviour today and bitterness is because I had an unhappy/abusive/difficult childhood.

No doubts, early childhood environment and psychosocial development contribute a vital portion of an individual’s life, but at a certain point in your adult life; you need to stand up for your – own – self. Only “you” can do that, you owe it to yourself. You have to decide to be happy and take full responsibility for your actions and thoughts. Rather than using this reason as an excuse to be sad, bitter, angry, irritable and ultimately carrying out irrational, violent or wrong actions. The decision starts first with you. 

You can choose to be happy, get help, seek and learn from others who survived through similar challenges and inform yourself. All these can be challenging and not so easy, trust me I know, but they are crucial to healing, self-growth and development in order to live a life of full potential.

2. Please people, there are no such things as; “I don’t know what came over me” or “this was the work of the devil” or “I raped him/her because him/her tempted me or got naked in front of me” or “I killed/was violent to him/her because they annoyed me”…

All these are never excuses or reasons, they shouldn’t even be heard of at all because you ultimately performed that wrong action. There was always the option of “walking away from annoying, painful or tempting situations” or “deciding to just not do it”. But, it all comes down to the fact that; you thought about doing it in your head first, secondly you didn’t discard it, and then you made the final decision and eventually performed that wrong action. Never blame people for your actions!!!

3. I can’t love or trust again because someone broke my heart.

My dear, you are going to miss out on a whole lot in life and may not live life to the fullest if you continue with this notion. You do not have to allow the person that broke your heart continue to influence your present thoughts, decisions and actions, long after they’ve left you. Trust me, they aren’t worth it! It’s a choice you need to make now – by yourself – to grieve, let them go, move past them, pick up yourself, be happy, hope for the best in your subsequent relationships and love again. I personally do not believe in the “he/she broke my heart” line. I like to see it as “I let him/her break my heart” because I believe it’s “ultimately my decision” to be sad or unhappy despite whatever  someone has done to me and it’s my duty to take care of myself.

4. I showered him/her with gifts/money/time/commitment/my all and they just used me only for what I had to offer them.

No doubts, this can be a really unpleasant experience when we think about it. After given a lot to someone or a course, only to realise we were actually been deceived, used or manipulated but at the end of the day it is better we take responsibility and not blame them for whatever we are going through. Not disputing the fact that you may have been used but it also doesn’t change the fact that, “you are the one that eventually made the decision and action to give all these things willingly”. Think in the direction of; you will be smarter, more vigilant, well informed and be able to watch out for deception in your subsequent relationships and hence, will make better and well informed decisions and actions.

5. Ignorance 

Some people claim “ignorance” is the reason they involve in or carry out certain actions. Either “genuine ignorance” or “false ignorance” is never enough reason to carry out any wrong act. At some point in your adult life, you need to take charge of your life and actions, educate yourself, read books, be informed, ask questions, go to seminars & conferences, go out of your way to learn new things and be determined to do the right thing. The fact that you did not know something was wrong before doing it doesn’t make it excusable. 

In conclusion, have a positive attitude to life; no person or situation is ever a reason to influence your thoughts or actions negatively. It is best to learn to take responsibility for your own actions and thoughts as this makes you – more – in control of your life, to live life the way you want it and not just be as chaff that goes in any direction – people or situations blow them to go.
Be the architect of your own life! 

Don’t let yourself be the victim to people or circumstances!  

Remember only you can take care of yourself! 

Make decisions and take actions that profit you, make you happy and lead to self growth & development. Only then will you live life to the fullest, achieve your goals and attain your maximum potential in life.
-BAMIDO BOROWA, 2017

Photo credit, Google.

This Fleeting World

This fleeting world
…It’s eluding me
I say life is just a pot of beans
But more than a steaming pot of hot beans
It’s like a beautiful lady
And beauty is fading
Fading away in vanity
All is vanity, vanity upon vanity.

true-remorse-mignon-mclaughlin

This remorseful life (full of regrets)
Living at the edge of it
I could tilt over anytime from now
But being held back by the string of hope
Hope of the morrow
Hope of forever
Hope of immortality
…Eternal hope.

sober-life

This sober life
Sad in all its shades
Deep In all its form
But not to wallow in it.
Life is life
But glints of Light spark it up
Life oh life

Oluwakemisola ’16.

The Beginning of a new-perfect 366 days

Today marks the end of another 365 days in my life. First of all, I want to bless the Lord for the gift of life, good health and sanity – Trust me, it’s all by grace.

Reminiscing over what has happened this last year of my life, I realised I have grown in all ramifications. I have learnt to and actually unlook, unhear (Ecc. 7v21), even unsee a whole lot of things. I have learnt to and endeavoured to make a positive impact wherever I find myself, regardless. Although silence is golden but I have also learnt to speak up and speak out for what I want.

I have learnt a whole lot about friends, colleagues and family and have come to realize that only one is your true friend and comforter. Also to the most important I have learnt, well always known that, choice is the greatest power given to man and I have made a whole lot of different choices, even inconvenient ones that I have learnt to live with its consequences and outcomes.

And before I forget, thanks to all those who contributed to my life this year, I would have loved to mention names but the list is endless, either ways permit me to mention Olujide, for he was a part of my life. Thanks to all who aided, supported and encouraged me; physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, professionally, academically and morally.

As y’all have sown into my life, consciously and unconsciously, May the good Lord sow into yours too. Finally, special thanks to my Mother and Father, who let me soar high and fly away, believing me and trusting me to come back home to rest; which I will eventually do.IMG_20160209_103236

#smiles join me in this perfect beginning journey…

Oluwakemisola A. , 6th of August, 2016.

 

Life is Short

“Life is short”.

I know this statement or saying is so cliché that it has lost its effect but I want you to say it – slowly and meaningful…

Life. Is. Short. Really.

“Life is tooo short to be sad, worried or anxious half or even as small as one percent of the time”…

Life is too short and long at the same time – irony and paradox of life – to be “managing life”.

Some days back, I became a year older (I am not so old, infact, I am just 12 years old) and am I happy? Well, mixed feelings.56bf52cb399aa1bae3b6500680422060

I got friends turn sisters, brothers and uncles, roommates turn family and the real bae family around but that didn’t change the feelings and thoughts I had deep down inside.

I got older and had a “sober reflection”, like I love to call it; “sisters” that have gotten married, friends that got new assets, properties and so on and here I am, single, losing weight and sitting on my 6-man-battalion-barracks-hostel-room-bed-space almost penniless and without even a decent phone. Lol. Funny, isn’t it?

#sighs #deepbreath.

Well, but in all of these, I am happy and free (I remember that song that was and still is my favourite…), I am grateful and thankful for the gift of life (like a lover advised me to…), I am thankful to the epic Jehovah – who is seeing me through – for the gift of positioning, “good health” and sanity.

And with time I have come to realise that happiness and joy is internal, and should never be attached to anything external ‘cause honey, they will fail you – woefully.

So, I have decided, not to let anything external take away my inner peace, happiness and joy, I have decided to let life take its course while I row happily with it and I have decided to let the Almighty take the wheels not letting other peoples’ time or life or story rob me of mine.

Reason for this decision; life is short, terribly and amazingly short… so short that it shrivels out in a twinkle of an eye and yet sooo long that it takes years to get to the end of it (that’s if you are privileged or lucky to last that long though, no harm intended, just plain truthful…).Live-now-1024x1024

So final advice; live now, be happy, smile a lot, laugh out loud, enjoy yourself, go out, meet people, have fun, travel to someplace new, dance now and then, jog once in a while, be positively remorseful not regretful, love the Lord, don’t let “people” decide for you ‘cause “you” own your life and would be held solely responsible and accountable for it, make impact and touch peoples life… let them remember and miss you when you are gone (which one day you would be)… and always remember  and have it at the back of your mind that “life is short and eternity is forever”…

And below is the link to my original birthday message…

https://kemisolaagoyi1.wordpress.com/2016/08/28/the-beginning-of-a-new-perfect-366-days/

Love y’all

Oluwakemisola A. , 10th of August, 2016.